As Salamu alaykum, SubhanAllah I got so lost.i come and see this site now and all the reminders which I should have heeded. But how we love our nafs,and how our nafs destroy us. All I can do is thank Allah for holding onto me. SubhaNAllah I never purposely wanted to be bad but we get caught up in life and lose all sense of direction. I wanted dunya and dunya surely distracted me. I guess one conclusion I came to is that dunya plays its part too. dunya can't be ignored as we have to live and in this life we will get tested. I really do love Allah because SubhanAllah all I have to do is ask his forgiveness sincerely. I find myself when I Find Him. Being alone isn't a good place to be. We can try to be strong and think we are ok but slowly slowly emaan will weaken without reminders. I have to fight myself now and also make time. I live like there will be no consequences, I tried to ignore but you can't hide from the truth. I'm so grateful Allah never let me go, I pray HE never lets me go. May Allah help us ameen