Ahad, Ahad - Unknown
Why shed these tears of sorrow?
Why shed these tears of grief?
Ya nafsy how soon you forget,
After trials come sweet relief
Why turn you from Ar-Rahman?
Why yearn for a listening friend?
Ya nafsy, do you not remember,
On ALLAH, you must depend?
Read you not those stories,
of the trials in days gone by,
Of the Sahabi beloved by Allah,
Who for Allah's cause did strive?
Why loosen your hold upon him?
Why fling away, His outstretched Hand?
Ya nafsy, do you not remember,
Bilal's sabr on the blazing sand?
"Ahad! Ahad!" He cried,
While his flesh did drip and burn.
"Ahad! Ahad!" He cried,
To Allah alone he turned.
Forget you the firmness of Hamza,
As the gleaming swords did fall?
With Sabr he turned to Allah,
as the qureish did slice and maul.
Why drown in salty teardrops?
How can you dare compare your pain?
To that of Yasir and Summayah,
As the lay tortured on the scorching plain?
Forget you the charring of Khabbab,
As on burning coals he lay?
Ya nafsy how meager your suffering,
Wherefore do you lose your way?
Why befriend you not Al-Wali?
Why not in Salat to Him complain?
Like Job who only to Allah,
Turned in all his grief and pain?
Forget you those trials in this life,
Cleanse your heart and make it clean?
Ya nafsy, why all this sadness?
Do you not wish your heart to gleam?
Be patient in all your hardships,
Allah hears your cries of woe.
So trust Him and His hikma,
For He knows best and you don't know.
So tighten your hold upon him,
Lest He withdraw His outstretched Hand!
And remember the example of Bilal,
As he lay anchored on the blazing sand.
"Ahad! Ahad!" he cried,
While his flesh did drip and burn.
"Ahad! Ahad!" he cried,
To Allah alone he turned.
Sunday 6 July 2008
The difference between “at ta’eer” and “an naseehah”
Written by Imaam ibn Rajab al-Hanbalee
Alhamdulillahi rabil aalameen amma bad,
These are some concise, comprehensive words about the difference between naseehah {advice} and ta’yeer {rebuking, chastising}, for both of them share a common attribute which is to speak about a persons’ {characteristic/s} which they may dislike, and indeed for many people they tend to have a difficult time differentiating between the two, and Allah is the one who guides to that which is correct.
The difference between “at ta’eer” and “an naseehah”
Know that mentioning something bad about a person is haram if the intention behind it is just to criticize, embarrass and to find fault {with that person}. However, if there is a benefit for the general Muslim public, especially some of them, in this case if the purpose is to obtain that particular benefit, then this is not haram, as a matter of fact it is highly recommend.
Indeed the scholars of hadeeth have approved of this methodology in their books of “al jarh wa at ta’deel”, i.e., they discussed the difference between disparaging a narrator {Criticizing him by saying he is “deaf” weak, he lies, and so forth} and backbiting him. Also the scholars differentiated between back biting a scholar who made a mistake, and clarifying that mistake so that the people would not take this mistake as an example to be followed. Thus, the scholars are united upon doing this, and this is why one finds in the all the books of the islamic sciences which they wrote like tafseer, explanation of hadeeth, fiqh etc, statements like “this is a weak opinion” “this is wrong” and so forth, and none of the scholars ever claimed that those other scholars who made mistakes like these, that they were trying to belittle or find fault with those other scholars statements whom they rejected. May Allah forgive, except those particular type of scholars who uses unpleasant words and has a bad manner in which they express themselves, then in that case the other scholars will object to his unpleasant nature and bad manners without rejecting his statements {if there correct} . The reason for this is because the scholars of the deen are all unanimous upon that the purpose is to make the haqq with which Allah sent his messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} apparent, the deen solely for Allah and the word of Allah is most supreme.
All the scholars admit that no one has complete knowledge of the deen, nor no one from the early scholars or those who came after them makes this claim. This is why the a’imah {imams} of the salaf are united upon the fact that one is obligated to take the truth whoever it comes from, even if it is a small person. They used to advise their student to accept the truth even if it is from other than themselves. Some famous scholars used to say “this is our opinion, whoever comes with a better one we accept it from him.” Imam As Shaafi’ee {150-204} used to fulfill the meaning of this expression to the utmost, whereby he used to advise his students to follow the truth and accept the sunnah, if it has been made clear that it contradicts their statements and to “throw his statements against the wall”, as he use to say in his books “one will find in here what conflicts with the quran and sunnah, because Allah says “Do they not then consider the Qur’ân carefully? Had it been from other than Allâh, they would surely have found therein much contradictions” {An Nis’a:72}. Even more amazing than is where he {imam As Shafi’ee} said “I have never debated with someone except that I wished the truth becomes clear; regardless whether it comes from his tongue or mine”. This indicates that his intention was only that of to make the truth apparent, whether it is from himself or the from the person whom differed with, and whoever thinks like this then there is no problem in refuting his statements by making clear his contradiction to the sunnah, whether he is alive or dead.
Many of the past scholars also used to similar approach to that of imam As Shafi’ee, in that they did not have any problems with someone who differed with them as long as they presented their proofs. It has been narrated that imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal said to Haatim Al Asum “you are an a’jamee {non-arab} who lacks eloquence in speech, and you have never debated anyone except that you “break’em down,” by what you defeat the other person,” he said “by three things: I am happy if the other person is correct, I feel sad if he makes a mistake and I guard my tongue against saying anything that may offend him,” imam Ahmad then said “how intelligent is this man!”. Therefore, refuting weak statements and clarifying the truth by evidences from the shariah is not something those scholars disliked, as a matter of fact it is something they loved and they used to praise the one who did it, hence, this will not be considered backbiting. If someone supposedly, dislikes clarifying his mistakes which contradicts with the truth, then in such a situation no consideration is paid to his objection toward this. For indeed, disliking the truth to be made apparent because it differs with the statements of a particular man is not a praiseworthy trait, as a matter of fact, it is obligatory upon the muslim to love the truth to be uppermost, whether it agrees with them or it disagrees with them. And this is all part of giving naseehah {sincere advice} to Allah, His book, His messenger, His deen, the leaders of the muslims and the general muslim public.
There is no blame on the one who clarifies the mistakes of the scholars who preceded him, as long as he is mannerly in the way he addresses him and he pleasant in refutation, and some of the salaf used to refute a persons’ statement by saying “so and so lied”, as in the hadeeth of the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} where he said “Abu As Sanaabil lied”, when he {salallahu alayhi wa salam} heard that gave Abu As Sanaabil gave a fatwa saying the women whose husband died and she was pregnant, she must wait four months and ten days after delivering the baby before she can remarry, whereas the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} actually said that she can marry soon after she gave birth without waiting {saheeh Al Bukhari and Muslim}.
Thus, we find the scholars refuting the mistakes of great scholars like ibn Abbas who saw mut’ah {temporary marriage} as permissible, the strange opinions of Tawwus, A’tah, Saeed ibn Musayib and many others like them. And in spite of their mistakes the Muslims are unanimous in their love and respect for them and that they were guided. Furthermore, no one ever considered their mistakes {clarifying it} as exposing their faults or shortcomings. However, if a person intends by his refutation to expose the other person faults, show his shortcomings, make him look ignorant and lacking in knowledge, the in such a case this is haram, whether in his presence or not, during his life of after his death. This is what Allah is taking about in the surah Al Humazah {the scandal monger} when threatening those who do these type of actions, as the hadeeth narrated AbuBarzah al-Aslami states: the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: “O community of people, who believed by their tongue, and belief did not enter their hearts, do not backbite Muslims, and do not search for their faults, for if anyone searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault, and if Allah searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces him even if he is in the depths of his house.” All this however, are the rights of the scholars and is specifically restricted to them and those who follow them in the deen. As for the people of bidah and deviance and those who pretend to be from the scholars and they are not from them, then it is permissible to show their ignorance and faults and to warn the people about it.
How to distinguish between someone who wants to give advice and someone who wants to expose others’ faults
If it is known that a person by giving naseehah to Allah and his messenger that he intends to clarify someone’s’ mistake, then one must treat him with honor and respect like one treats the rest of the scholars. However, is if his intention by his refutation of them is to criticize them in a bad manner and expose their shortcomings, then he deserves to be confronted and chastised for doing such a lowly haram act.
One can sometimes know this {evil} intention by admission and conformation of the person doing this act, or sometimes there are accompanying signs that indicate to this either by words or deeds, such as this person is very transgressing, has little taqwa, lack control of his tongue, always backbiting and slandering someone, reproachful, envies people out of what Allah has blessed them with from his bounties and is very eager for fame and leadership position, so if a person to posses these traits, then we pay no attention to his refutation, and we reject him in and treat him in a belittling manner. As for the one who does not show these traits, then one must accept his statements in the best manner possible, and it is impermissible to look at his statements in a negative light. Umar {radiallahu anhu} said “do not think negatively about a word that came from your Muslim brother, so long as you can find a good excuse for him”
How to give advice and things that should avoided when doing so
It is from this door that saying what your brother dislikes in his face is good, if it is done with sincerity. Thus, if a person informs his brother of a fault to avoid it, then this is naseehah. However, if he informs him in such a manner to embarrass of his sins, then this blameworthy and despicable. When some of the salaf were asked “do you like anyone to tell you of your faults,” they would reply “if they intend to embarrass and belittle me, then no.” This is because shaming and exposing someone for a sin they have done is a reprehensible act, and this is why the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} prohibited the sahabahs from abusing the one who fornicated and the one who drank alcohol, in spite of he {salallahu alayhi wa salam} ordering them to be whipped. As in the hadeeth of At Tirmidhee narrated by Muadh ibn Jabal “whoever exposes his brother sins will not die until he does it,” and there is possibility that this can be the same sin the person repented from. Fudayl ibn Iyad said “the mu’min covers and gives naseehah, whereas the sinner accuses and exposes.” What Fudayl is describing here are the signs of naseehah and that of ta’eer {exposing}, because naseehah is accompanied by covers {of faults} and ta’eer is accompanied by publicity, as imam As Shaafi’ee said in a poem to the meaning of “whenever you want to advise me do so privately, and avoid advising publicly, because advising in the presence of people, is a form of embarrassment I am not pleased to listen to.”
The salaf used to say “whoever commanded his brother {to do good} in a gathering where there are people, then he has exposed him.” This is why the salaf used to dislike commanding good and forbidding evil in this manner, and they preferred it {commanding good and forbidding evil} privately between two individuals, and this is from the signs of true naseehah, because the purpose of naseehah is not to spread people faults, but rather it is to remove the wrong that took place.
As for spreading and announcing peoples’ faults, then this is what Allah and His messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} made haram, Allah says “Verily, those who like that (the crime of) illegal sexual intercourse should be propagated among those who believe, they will have a painful torment in this world and in the Hereafter. And Allâh knows and you know not” {An Nur: 19-20}, and there are many hadeeth about covering the fault of others such the one Umar narrated in saheeh Al Bukahri that the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} said “whoever alleviates a difficulty of a Muslim in this life, Allah will alleviate a difficulty from him on the day of judgment, and whoever covers a Muslim Allah will cover him on the day of judgment”. This is why publicizing lewdness is always accompanied by exposure of someone, and these are the two characteristics of the faajir {a lewd person}, because the faajir has no other intention except expose the faults of his Muslim brother so he can be embarrassed openly. With regard to the sincere adviser, his intention is remove that fault from his Muslim brother and help him to avoid it, as Allah describes the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} “Verily, there has come unto you a Messenger from amongst yourselves. It grieves him that you should receive any injury or difficulty. He (Muhammad SAW) is anxious over you, for the believers (he SAW is) full of pity, kind, and merciful.” {At Tawbah:128} and Allah described his {salallahu alayhi wa salam} companions by saying “Muhammad [SAW] is the Messenger of Allâh, and those who are with him are severe against disbelievers, and merciful among themselves ………….”{Al Fath:29}.
On the other hand the faajir, he takes pleasure in hurting and harming his Muslim brother, and this is the character of shaitan who beautifies kufr, sins and disobedience to mankind as Allah says “Surely, Shaitân is an enemy to you, so take (treat) him as an enemy”. {Al Fatir:6}. Hence, the is a big difference between the one wants to give sincere advice and the one who wants expose {someone}, and no one mixes up the two issues except someone who lacks a healthy intellect.
The end result of spreading others faults
Those who spy and propagate the sins of his Muslim brother, Allah will eventually expose his sins, as in the hadeeth we mentioned before {do not search for their faults, for if anyone searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault, and if Allah searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces him even if he is in the depths of his house}. This is why when ibn Sireen was indebted and was experiencing difficulty in repaying his debt he said “indeed i know the sin which i did that made me fall into this, i rebuked a man by saying: you pauper”
Pretending to give advice when actually chastising is from the attribute of the munafiqoon
Amongst the signs of openly chastising someone is to spread the evil that they did and claim that one only wants to give sincere advise, whereas the objective is to actually hurt that person, as is the characteristic of the munafiqeen (hypocrites) whom Allah criticized for pretending to do or say something good, but really intends a goal that is evil {by that action}. Allah describes them in surah At Tawbah by saying “And as for those who put up a mosque by way of harming and disbelief, and to disunite the believers, and as an outpost for those who warred against Allâh and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW) aforetime, they will indeed swear that their intention is nothing but good. Allâh bears witness that they are certainly liars”. {9:107} and He {SubHana Wa Ta`ala } said also “Think not that those who rejoice in what they have done (or brought about), and love to be praised for what they have not done,- think not you that they are rescued from the torment, and for them is a painful torment.” {Al Imran:188}. This ayat was revealed as ibn Abbas said about the munafiqeen whom when the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} used go out for jihad, they would stay behind and they would rejoice about their lack of participation in the jihad. However, when the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} returned they would make up excuses and swear that they were telling the truth, and they used to love being praised for what the did not do so Allah revealed this verse. {Al-Bukhari: chapter of tafseer}. Hence, these are from the characteristic of the munafiqoon and the jews i.e. a person says or does something which on the outside looks good, but in fact the intention is to arrive at something evil, and therefore he fulfills two objectives by executing his evil and getting praised for it by this deception.
Lastly, we send blessings upon the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam}, his family and on his companions, and our final dua’ is Alhamdulillahi rabil aalameen.
Alhamdulillahi rabil aalameen amma bad,
These are some concise, comprehensive words about the difference between naseehah {advice} and ta’yeer {rebuking, chastising}, for both of them share a common attribute which is to speak about a persons’ {characteristic/s} which they may dislike, and indeed for many people they tend to have a difficult time differentiating between the two, and Allah is the one who guides to that which is correct.
The difference between “at ta’eer” and “an naseehah”
Know that mentioning something bad about a person is haram if the intention behind it is just to criticize, embarrass and to find fault {with that person}. However, if there is a benefit for the general Muslim public, especially some of them, in this case if the purpose is to obtain that particular benefit, then this is not haram, as a matter of fact it is highly recommend.
Indeed the scholars of hadeeth have approved of this methodology in their books of “al jarh wa at ta’deel”, i.e., they discussed the difference between disparaging a narrator {Criticizing him by saying he is “deaf” weak, he lies, and so forth} and backbiting him. Also the scholars differentiated between back biting a scholar who made a mistake, and clarifying that mistake so that the people would not take this mistake as an example to be followed. Thus, the scholars are united upon doing this, and this is why one finds in the all the books of the islamic sciences which they wrote like tafseer, explanation of hadeeth, fiqh etc, statements like “this is a weak opinion” “this is wrong” and so forth, and none of the scholars ever claimed that those other scholars who made mistakes like these, that they were trying to belittle or find fault with those other scholars statements whom they rejected. May Allah forgive, except those particular type of scholars who uses unpleasant words and has a bad manner in which they express themselves, then in that case the other scholars will object to his unpleasant nature and bad manners without rejecting his statements {if there correct} . The reason for this is because the scholars of the deen are all unanimous upon that the purpose is to make the haqq with which Allah sent his messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} apparent, the deen solely for Allah and the word of Allah is most supreme.
All the scholars admit that no one has complete knowledge of the deen, nor no one from the early scholars or those who came after them makes this claim. This is why the a’imah {imams} of the salaf are united upon the fact that one is obligated to take the truth whoever it comes from, even if it is a small person. They used to advise their student to accept the truth even if it is from other than themselves. Some famous scholars used to say “this is our opinion, whoever comes with a better one we accept it from him.” Imam As Shaafi’ee {150-204} used to fulfill the meaning of this expression to the utmost, whereby he used to advise his students to follow the truth and accept the sunnah, if it has been made clear that it contradicts their statements and to “throw his statements against the wall”, as he use to say in his books “one will find in here what conflicts with the quran and sunnah, because Allah says “Do they not then consider the Qur’ân carefully? Had it been from other than Allâh, they would surely have found therein much contradictions” {An Nis’a:72}. Even more amazing than is where he {imam As Shafi’ee} said “I have never debated with someone except that I wished the truth becomes clear; regardless whether it comes from his tongue or mine”. This indicates that his intention was only that of to make the truth apparent, whether it is from himself or the from the person whom differed with, and whoever thinks like this then there is no problem in refuting his statements by making clear his contradiction to the sunnah, whether he is alive or dead.
Many of the past scholars also used to similar approach to that of imam As Shafi’ee, in that they did not have any problems with someone who differed with them as long as they presented their proofs. It has been narrated that imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal said to Haatim Al Asum “you are an a’jamee {non-arab} who lacks eloquence in speech, and you have never debated anyone except that you “break’em down,” by what you defeat the other person,” he said “by three things: I am happy if the other person is correct, I feel sad if he makes a mistake and I guard my tongue against saying anything that may offend him,” imam Ahmad then said “how intelligent is this man!”. Therefore, refuting weak statements and clarifying the truth by evidences from the shariah is not something those scholars disliked, as a matter of fact it is something they loved and they used to praise the one who did it, hence, this will not be considered backbiting. If someone supposedly, dislikes clarifying his mistakes which contradicts with the truth, then in such a situation no consideration is paid to his objection toward this. For indeed, disliking the truth to be made apparent because it differs with the statements of a particular man is not a praiseworthy trait, as a matter of fact, it is obligatory upon the muslim to love the truth to be uppermost, whether it agrees with them or it disagrees with them. And this is all part of giving naseehah {sincere advice} to Allah, His book, His messenger, His deen, the leaders of the muslims and the general muslim public.
There is no blame on the one who clarifies the mistakes of the scholars who preceded him, as long as he is mannerly in the way he addresses him and he pleasant in refutation, and some of the salaf used to refute a persons’ statement by saying “so and so lied”, as in the hadeeth of the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} where he said “Abu As Sanaabil lied”, when he {salallahu alayhi wa salam} heard that gave Abu As Sanaabil gave a fatwa saying the women whose husband died and she was pregnant, she must wait four months and ten days after delivering the baby before she can remarry, whereas the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} actually said that she can marry soon after she gave birth without waiting {saheeh Al Bukhari and Muslim}.
Thus, we find the scholars refuting the mistakes of great scholars like ibn Abbas who saw mut’ah {temporary marriage} as permissible, the strange opinions of Tawwus, A’tah, Saeed ibn Musayib and many others like them. And in spite of their mistakes the Muslims are unanimous in their love and respect for them and that they were guided. Furthermore, no one ever considered their mistakes {clarifying it} as exposing their faults or shortcomings. However, if a person intends by his refutation to expose the other person faults, show his shortcomings, make him look ignorant and lacking in knowledge, the in such a case this is haram, whether in his presence or not, during his life of after his death. This is what Allah is taking about in the surah Al Humazah {the scandal monger} when threatening those who do these type of actions, as the hadeeth narrated AbuBarzah al-Aslami states: the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: “O community of people, who believed by their tongue, and belief did not enter their hearts, do not backbite Muslims, and do not search for their faults, for if anyone searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault, and if Allah searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces him even if he is in the depths of his house.” All this however, are the rights of the scholars and is specifically restricted to them and those who follow them in the deen. As for the people of bidah and deviance and those who pretend to be from the scholars and they are not from them, then it is permissible to show their ignorance and faults and to warn the people about it.
How to distinguish between someone who wants to give advice and someone who wants to expose others’ faults
If it is known that a person by giving naseehah to Allah and his messenger that he intends to clarify someone’s’ mistake, then one must treat him with honor and respect like one treats the rest of the scholars. However, is if his intention by his refutation of them is to criticize them in a bad manner and expose their shortcomings, then he deserves to be confronted and chastised for doing such a lowly haram act.
One can sometimes know this {evil} intention by admission and conformation of the person doing this act, or sometimes there are accompanying signs that indicate to this either by words or deeds, such as this person is very transgressing, has little taqwa, lack control of his tongue, always backbiting and slandering someone, reproachful, envies people out of what Allah has blessed them with from his bounties and is very eager for fame and leadership position, so if a person to posses these traits, then we pay no attention to his refutation, and we reject him in and treat him in a belittling manner. As for the one who does not show these traits, then one must accept his statements in the best manner possible, and it is impermissible to look at his statements in a negative light. Umar {radiallahu anhu} said “do not think negatively about a word that came from your Muslim brother, so long as you can find a good excuse for him”
How to give advice and things that should avoided when doing so
It is from this door that saying what your brother dislikes in his face is good, if it is done with sincerity. Thus, if a person informs his brother of a fault to avoid it, then this is naseehah. However, if he informs him in such a manner to embarrass of his sins, then this blameworthy and despicable. When some of the salaf were asked “do you like anyone to tell you of your faults,” they would reply “if they intend to embarrass and belittle me, then no.” This is because shaming and exposing someone for a sin they have done is a reprehensible act, and this is why the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} prohibited the sahabahs from abusing the one who fornicated and the one who drank alcohol, in spite of he {salallahu alayhi wa salam} ordering them to be whipped. As in the hadeeth of At Tirmidhee narrated by Muadh ibn Jabal “whoever exposes his brother sins will not die until he does it,” and there is possibility that this can be the same sin the person repented from. Fudayl ibn Iyad said “the mu’min covers and gives naseehah, whereas the sinner accuses and exposes.” What Fudayl is describing here are the signs of naseehah and that of ta’eer {exposing}, because naseehah is accompanied by covers {of faults} and ta’eer is accompanied by publicity, as imam As Shaafi’ee said in a poem to the meaning of “whenever you want to advise me do so privately, and avoid advising publicly, because advising in the presence of people, is a form of embarrassment I am not pleased to listen to.”
The salaf used to say “whoever commanded his brother {to do good} in a gathering where there are people, then he has exposed him.” This is why the salaf used to dislike commanding good and forbidding evil in this manner, and they preferred it {commanding good and forbidding evil} privately between two individuals, and this is from the signs of true naseehah, because the purpose of naseehah is not to spread people faults, but rather it is to remove the wrong that took place.
As for spreading and announcing peoples’ faults, then this is what Allah and His messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} made haram, Allah says “Verily, those who like that (the crime of) illegal sexual intercourse should be propagated among those who believe, they will have a painful torment in this world and in the Hereafter. And Allâh knows and you know not” {An Nur: 19-20}, and there are many hadeeth about covering the fault of others such the one Umar narrated in saheeh Al Bukahri that the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} said “whoever alleviates a difficulty of a Muslim in this life, Allah will alleviate a difficulty from him on the day of judgment, and whoever covers a Muslim Allah will cover him on the day of judgment”. This is why publicizing lewdness is always accompanied by exposure of someone, and these are the two characteristics of the faajir {a lewd person}, because the faajir has no other intention except expose the faults of his Muslim brother so he can be embarrassed openly. With regard to the sincere adviser, his intention is remove that fault from his Muslim brother and help him to avoid it, as Allah describes the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} “Verily, there has come unto you a Messenger from amongst yourselves. It grieves him that you should receive any injury or difficulty. He (Muhammad SAW) is anxious over you, for the believers (he SAW is) full of pity, kind, and merciful.” {At Tawbah:128} and Allah described his {salallahu alayhi wa salam} companions by saying “Muhammad [SAW] is the Messenger of Allâh, and those who are with him are severe against disbelievers, and merciful among themselves ………….”{Al Fath:29}.
On the other hand the faajir, he takes pleasure in hurting and harming his Muslim brother, and this is the character of shaitan who beautifies kufr, sins and disobedience to mankind as Allah says “Surely, Shaitân is an enemy to you, so take (treat) him as an enemy”. {Al Fatir:6}. Hence, the is a big difference between the one wants to give sincere advice and the one who wants expose {someone}, and no one mixes up the two issues except someone who lacks a healthy intellect.
The end result of spreading others faults
Those who spy and propagate the sins of his Muslim brother, Allah will eventually expose his sins, as in the hadeeth we mentioned before {do not search for their faults, for if anyone searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault, and if Allah searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces him even if he is in the depths of his house}. This is why when ibn Sireen was indebted and was experiencing difficulty in repaying his debt he said “indeed i know the sin which i did that made me fall into this, i rebuked a man by saying: you pauper”
Pretending to give advice when actually chastising is from the attribute of the munafiqoon
Amongst the signs of openly chastising someone is to spread the evil that they did and claim that one only wants to give sincere advise, whereas the objective is to actually hurt that person, as is the characteristic of the munafiqeen (hypocrites) whom Allah criticized for pretending to do or say something good, but really intends a goal that is evil {by that action}. Allah describes them in surah At Tawbah by saying “And as for those who put up a mosque by way of harming and disbelief, and to disunite the believers, and as an outpost for those who warred against Allâh and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW) aforetime, they will indeed swear that their intention is nothing but good. Allâh bears witness that they are certainly liars”. {9:107} and He {SubHana Wa Ta`ala } said also “Think not that those who rejoice in what they have done (or brought about), and love to be praised for what they have not done,- think not you that they are rescued from the torment, and for them is a painful torment.” {Al Imran:188}. This ayat was revealed as ibn Abbas said about the munafiqeen whom when the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} used go out for jihad, they would stay behind and they would rejoice about their lack of participation in the jihad. However, when the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam} returned they would make up excuses and swear that they were telling the truth, and they used to love being praised for what the did not do so Allah revealed this verse. {Al-Bukhari: chapter of tafseer}. Hence, these are from the characteristic of the munafiqoon and the jews i.e. a person says or does something which on the outside looks good, but in fact the intention is to arrive at something evil, and therefore he fulfills two objectives by executing his evil and getting praised for it by this deception.
Lastly, we send blessings upon the messenger {salallahu alayhi wa salam}, his family and on his companions, and our final dua’ is Alhamdulillahi rabil aalameen.
The evil eye
Shaykh Muhammad al-Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen was asked:
Can the evil eye afflict a person? How is it treated? Does being on one’s guard against it contradict putting one’s trust in Allaah?
He replied:
Our opinion concerning the evil eye is that it is real and is proven both by Islamic teachings and by real life experiences. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And verily, those who disbelieve would almost make you slip with their eyes (through hatred)” [al-Qalam 68:51]
Ibn ‘Abbaas and others said, commenting on this verse: this means, they put the evil eye on you with their glances. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The evil eye is real and if anything were to overtake the divine decree, it would be the evil eye. When you are asked to take a bath (to provide a cure) from the influence of the evil eye, you should take a bath.” Narrated by Muslim. Al-Nasaa’i and Ibn Maajah narrated that ‘Aamir ibn Rabee’ah passed by Sahl ibn Haneef when he was bathing… and he quoted the hadeeth.
Reality confirms that and it cannot be denied.
In the event that you are afflicted by the evil eye, you should use the treatments recommended in sharee’ah, which are:
1 – Reciting ruqyah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “There is no ruqyah except in the case of the evil eye or fever.” [al-Tirmidhi, 2057; Abu Dawood, 3884.]
Jibreel used to do ruqyah for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and say, “Bismillaahi arqeeka min kulli shay’in yu’dheeka, min sharri kulli nafsin aw ‘aynin haasid Allaahu yashfeek, bismillaahi arqeek (In the name of Allaah I perform ruqyah for you, from everything that is harming you, from the evil of every soul or envious eye may Allaah heal you, in the name of Allaah I perform ruqyah for you).”
2 – Asking the person who has put the evil eye on another to wash, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded ‘Aamir ibn Rabee’ah to do in the hadeeth quoted above. Then the water should be poured over the one who has been afflicted.
With regard to taking his waste, such as his urine and stools, there is no basis for doing so; the same applies to taking any of his belongings. Rather what is narrated is that which is mentioned above, washing his limbs and washing inside his garment, or likewise washing inside his headgear and garments. And Allaah knows best.
There is nothing wrong with taking precautions against the evil eye before it happens, and this does not contradict the idea of tawakkul (putting one’s trust in Allaah). In fact this is tawakkul, because tawakkul means putting one’s trust in Allaah whilst also implementing the means that have been permitted or enjoined. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to seek refuge for al-Hasan and al-Husayn and say: U’eedhukuma bi kalimaat Allaah al-taammati min kulli shaytaanin wa haammah wa min kulli ‘aynin laammah (I seek refuge for you both in the perfect words of Allaah, from every devil and every poisonous reptile, and from every evil eye).’” [Al-Tirmidhi, 2060; Abu Dawood, 4737.]
And he would say,“Thus Ibraaheem used to seek refuge with Allaah for Ishaaq and Ismaa’eel, peace be upon them both.” [Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3371.]
Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 2/117, 118
Can the evil eye afflict a person? How is it treated? Does being on one’s guard against it contradict putting one’s trust in Allaah?
He replied:
Our opinion concerning the evil eye is that it is real and is proven both by Islamic teachings and by real life experiences. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And verily, those who disbelieve would almost make you slip with their eyes (through hatred)” [al-Qalam 68:51]
Ibn ‘Abbaas and others said, commenting on this verse: this means, they put the evil eye on you with their glances. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The evil eye is real and if anything were to overtake the divine decree, it would be the evil eye. When you are asked to take a bath (to provide a cure) from the influence of the evil eye, you should take a bath.” Narrated by Muslim. Al-Nasaa’i and Ibn Maajah narrated that ‘Aamir ibn Rabee’ah passed by Sahl ibn Haneef when he was bathing… and he quoted the hadeeth.
Reality confirms that and it cannot be denied.
In the event that you are afflicted by the evil eye, you should use the treatments recommended in sharee’ah, which are:
1 – Reciting ruqyah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “There is no ruqyah except in the case of the evil eye or fever.” [al-Tirmidhi, 2057; Abu Dawood, 3884.]
Jibreel used to do ruqyah for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and say, “Bismillaahi arqeeka min kulli shay’in yu’dheeka, min sharri kulli nafsin aw ‘aynin haasid Allaahu yashfeek, bismillaahi arqeek (In the name of Allaah I perform ruqyah for you, from everything that is harming you, from the evil of every soul or envious eye may Allaah heal you, in the name of Allaah I perform ruqyah for you).”
2 – Asking the person who has put the evil eye on another to wash, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded ‘Aamir ibn Rabee’ah to do in the hadeeth quoted above. Then the water should be poured over the one who has been afflicted.
With regard to taking his waste, such as his urine and stools, there is no basis for doing so; the same applies to taking any of his belongings. Rather what is narrated is that which is mentioned above, washing his limbs and washing inside his garment, or likewise washing inside his headgear and garments. And Allaah knows best.
There is nothing wrong with taking precautions against the evil eye before it happens, and this does not contradict the idea of tawakkul (putting one’s trust in Allaah). In fact this is tawakkul, because tawakkul means putting one’s trust in Allaah whilst also implementing the means that have been permitted or enjoined. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to seek refuge for al-Hasan and al-Husayn and say: U’eedhukuma bi kalimaat Allaah al-taammati min kulli shaytaanin wa haammah wa min kulli ‘aynin laammah (I seek refuge for you both in the perfect words of Allaah, from every devil and every poisonous reptile, and from every evil eye).’” [Al-Tirmidhi, 2060; Abu Dawood, 4737.]
And he would say,“Thus Ibraaheem used to seek refuge with Allaah for Ishaaq and Ismaa’eel, peace be upon them both.” [Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3371.]
Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 2/117, 118
Wednesday 2 July 2008
This is the story of Nabihah:
The following article was written by Abu Shoaib Ashmead Choat, a very dear family friend of ours. He visited Houston a few years ago and gave some talks there; he's a graduate of the College of Hadith from Madinah and an active da'i in Trinidad (where he runs his own full-time Islamic school). His daughter Nabiha passed away last year, while still a teenager. She had grown up in Madinah and memorized significant portions of the Quran. She was an active tajweed teacher in her native land of Trinidad.
After her tragic death, her father Abu Shoiab wrote up this beautiful article. I've asked his permission to post it on our website.
Nabihah My Love
But a Person is With the One Whom They Love
Even before we start to write about this glimpse into the life of our dear daughter, it is necessary to purify our intentions, hence the reason for the delay. This must not be for Shuhrah or fame or some Nahiha fan club, but it must be for, as Allah has said, 'Ya ayyuha ladhina amanu itaqullaaha wabtaghoo ilayhil waseelah' (Oh you who believe fear Allah and seek out the means of approach to him). Great effort and attention must be paid in trying to purify our intentions and knowing precisely why we are doing this. It may be a wake up call for a lazy or sleepy Muslim. It may help someone to realize how short and fleeting this life is; how precious it is that we must take every opportunity to do good, no matter how small, and we must seek every opportunity to invite people to Allah and use all the resources available to us in that cause, even if that means the life and death of our dear baby.
How do we begin to describe the love of our life? If Allah had given us someone for one or two years and took her away, it would have been easier because of her short life. Or if she had been married with children and away from the home it would have softened the loss. But our baby girl was in the prime of her life, just at the age of marriage, and the decision is with the Lord of the universe. As our Prophet (SAW) said at the moment of his death, when he was given the choice to go or stay, 'Balir-rafeequl-'alaa, Balir-rafeequl-'alaa - certainly the highest companionship, certainly the highest the companionship.'
It was late 2004 when Nabiha discovered a non-healing ulcer on her tongue which became exceedingly painful and was preventing her from eating. In March 2005, she had her first operation for the removal of the ulcer and a biopsy, which showed a presence of malignancy. In retrospect, when a Muslim is faced with the news of cancer, he begins to think of the options available to him. Seeking treatment and medical care is encouraged in the Sunnah (called: 'at-tadaawee - seeking treatment'). So over the next two years, we followed the full gamut of treatment of up to seven or eight surgeries together with radiotherapy in far away India, a return there for a review, then on to chemotherapy back in Trinidad.
Despite huge setbacks, we were to see the Hand of Allah in everything that challenged us. He tested us but walked us through to the very end. Allahumma laka wa minka; O Allah to you and from you. Laa malja'a minallahi illa ilayhi; There is no refuge from Allah, except in Him.
Our daughter, for those who know her, loved Qur'an and its fine recitation. And even before her loss of speech, she began to slowly lose the ability to pronounce key letters in the Arabic alphabet. She was taught recitation at the finest 'Tahfeedh' in Medina, where Salman, the son of Shaikh Thubaytee, was taught. One could imagine the pain she felt, and I remembered her last great effort to recite Qur'an after radiotherapy on her return from India; a moment in time that will not be repeated. Her speech slowly started to dwindle, and with great pain, I heard her say the words of the Prophet Sulayman, 'Rabbi Awzi'nee an Ashkura Ni'matakallati an'amta alayya wa 'alaa waalidayya wa an 'amala saalihan tardaahu wa adkhilnee bi rahmatika fee 'ibadikas saaliheen.'
During radiotherapy in India, in early 2006, she and her mother looked for appropriate gifts for her father to no avail. She thought that the best gift would be to memorize Surat Maryam. Every morning she would memorize a portion, and, while clamped on the cold stainless steel slab in the radiotherapy center in Trivandrum, India, she would revise what she had learnt that morning. While the rays from the linear accelerator machine were destroying the tissue in her neck and jaw, and, in the later stages, even with blood spewing from her mouth, she would be revising Qur'an.
We still remember one morning after she returned, she was anxious to recite what she had memorized, knowing how I loved that Surah. She sobbed bitterly in torment, not being able to pronounce certain letters properly. Her mother rushed downstairs thinking something was seriously wrong… 'nothing could be more agonizing to Nabiha than not being able to pronounce the words of Allah'.
For a few months we thought all was well, until Eid-ul-Fitr 2006. While I stood on the Mimbar, my daughter was at the hospital in Trinidad going through another painful procedure.
All throughout life, people are faced with situations in which they have options in dealing with them. We are sometimes faced with good news and sometimes with bad, but in Naibha's case, it was rare to hear good news. From then on it was constantly downhill. The family was being faced with one piece of bad news after another. The wound only became worse; the swellings increased, but our daughter Nabiha would continue to stand at night in prayer. It was not as though she became suddenly pious with the onset of illness. Rather, Nabiha continued to sail smoothly without missing a beat on a path that she had always tread. How Allah has blessed us with this privilege. Her sister remembers when we lived in Madinah in the nineties, how she would wake at nights, saying that she went to the washroom and thinking that was a long p….!
For days she would not speak because of the difficulty and pain. When she could not give Dawah with her speech, her fingers did the talking. Constantly admonishing people, worldwide and inviting them to Islam. Two Jewish Americans who became Muslims are living testimony to what she did. As parents we are only now beginning to realize the full extent of the people she advised, admonished, assisted, and supported. What is nice, however, is that the full extent of her work will never be known and is best left to Al 'Aleem. Sincerity is best measured when hidden from people's eyes. As our Prophet (saw) said when he performed Hajj: 'Allahumma laa ri'aa feehaa walaa sum'ah - O Allah, let there be no ostentation in it nor fame.'
Patience took on a special meaning for this young woman, seeing her life, her beauty, and her youth gradually taken away from her. There would be intense sadness and tears, but she bore her illness with dignity and with the full conviction that if this is what Allah wills, then so be it. Even close to the end I probably lost it when I said 'bint, where do you get all this strength' and lifting the frail hand into the air she pointed upwards, a move that words cannot do justice. One remembers laughing then at the relief and contentment for having a child of such Iman and 'Aqeedah.
The ulama say Patience is of three types:
1. Patience on the obedience of Allah
2. Patience in refraining from Allah's disobedience
3. Patience in enduring the painful trials form Allah.
Patience is easier in the third than in the first two. If a Muslim or a Kafir is faced with Cancer they both have to endure it but in the first two types we have choices either to obey Allah or disobey him. We hope and pray that in her moments of solitude and months quietness that our daughter was Dhaakiratullah katheeran - a woman who continued to remember Allah much.
Despite the great pain and trauma that we, the family, felt at times, we would say to Nabiha that we are a team and that we would never desert her, not even for a moment. In taking care of our ill child we did our very best, but we knew that one day the angels would take over and that that would be the day when our privilege and source of great blessings would come to an end. As we would shroud and perfume her lifeless body, so too we had the full assurance that the angels would be clothing and perfuming her Ruh.
Her body continued to emaciate and yet she showed extreme patience and courage. Her little body was battling the disease, but as Muslims we know that the body is just a shell… food for the worms of the grave. As a matter of fact, Allah showed us a glimpse of the breakdown of tissue and necrosis even before she left this world. (He showed us just what we could bear; her brother and I both acknowledge that we were about to reach the breaking point. How easy it is for Allah, Al Jabbaar, the One who Overwhelms.) It was a solemn reminder of the fate that each of our bodies will face. The eyes and whatever was little was left of her face remained shining like a beacon in the night, as though the cancer could not touch it. Again, we saw Allah's ease in the battlefield.
When Nabiha died, her feet glowed almost luminously, to a point that it startled us. Those feet that walked Makkah and Madina and stumbled between Safa and Marwa while fasting in Ramadan. Those eyes that cried incessantly when Abdullah Juhani and Salah Budair recited in Taraweeh in the Prophet's masjid. She would not miss her stars in recitation; not for the world.
Allah swt took this family and pushed it through wave upon wave of difficulty. Yet even with the difficulty was ease, smiles, comfort, and the security of knowing that even though He pushed us to the ends of world, He never left us on our own, but was constantly with us, protecting us and nurturing us. We discovered within ourselves, our capabilities for coping with crises we never imagined we could survive. It was easy to visualize a grotesque image of Nabiha once the cancer took over, but Allah has protected us and preserved our beautiful memories of our dear daughter.
When Nabiha died I, the father, was not present. He, Allah, placed me in the heart of the forest out of phone contact. Even when the family tried to call, I would not be accessible. Herein lies my test: Would I blame myself for not being present when she most needed me or will I totally accept the plan of Allah? Alhamduillallah, the one who was absent was able to console those who were present at her passing, and Allah knows whether I would be able to bear seeing her life leave her body.
People comment at our strength, but in truth we are exceedingly weak. He is our source of strength, and we fear to think how those who do not have Allah in their lives can manage? How do they live? How do they face the world and its trials?
Nabiha's life for us now is a bitter-sweet experience. We fear that after her passing, the chasm between us and our Lord will increase, and we will become more distant. Yet, we dare not say, 'O Allah bring on the next test,' for possibly the next test might just be the straw that breaks the camel's back. We only beg to stay close to Him and enjoy His sweet cuddliness; more than a mother can possibly show a child.
We would keeping telling her 'my baby just as we helped your helpless body in this life, maybe Allah would allow you to help us on Yawmul Qiyamah.' You could not eat nor drink nor speak nor shift your head in those last few months, but on that Day, if we were to receive our book of deeds in our left hand, we would have no power to shift it to the right. What utter helplessness!
Nabiha we love you dearly, but we love Allah more. Just as you loved us dearly, but you loved Allah more…… as you were trained. 'And do not say of those who are killed in the path of Allah that they are dead, nay they are sustained by their Lord. They rejoice in what Allah has bestowed upon them of His Bounty and rejoice for his sake for those who have not yet joined them, but are left behind that on them no fear shall come, nor shall they grieve. They rejoice in a Grace and a Bounty from Allah, and that Allah will not waste the reward of the believers.'
The following article was written by Abu Shoaib Ashmead Choat, a very dear family friend of ours. He visited Houston a few years ago and gave some talks there; he's a graduate of the College of Hadith from Madinah and an active da'i in Trinidad (where he runs his own full-time Islamic school). His daughter Nabiha passed away last year, while still a teenager. She had grown up in Madinah and memorized significant portions of the Quran. She was an active tajweed teacher in her native land of Trinidad.
After her tragic death, her father Abu Shoiab wrote up this beautiful article. I've asked his permission to post it on our website.
Nabihah My Love
But a Person is With the One Whom They Love
Even before we start to write about this glimpse into the life of our dear daughter, it is necessary to purify our intentions, hence the reason for the delay. This must not be for Shuhrah or fame or some Nahiha fan club, but it must be for, as Allah has said, 'Ya ayyuha ladhina amanu itaqullaaha wabtaghoo ilayhil waseelah' (Oh you who believe fear Allah and seek out the means of approach to him). Great effort and attention must be paid in trying to purify our intentions and knowing precisely why we are doing this. It may be a wake up call for a lazy or sleepy Muslim. It may help someone to realize how short and fleeting this life is; how precious it is that we must take every opportunity to do good, no matter how small, and we must seek every opportunity to invite people to Allah and use all the resources available to us in that cause, even if that means the life and death of our dear baby.
How do we begin to describe the love of our life? If Allah had given us someone for one or two years and took her away, it would have been easier because of her short life. Or if she had been married with children and away from the home it would have softened the loss. But our baby girl was in the prime of her life, just at the age of marriage, and the decision is with the Lord of the universe. As our Prophet (SAW) said at the moment of his death, when he was given the choice to go or stay, 'Balir-rafeequl-'alaa, Balir-rafeequl-'alaa - certainly the highest companionship, certainly the highest the companionship.'
It was late 2004 when Nabiha discovered a non-healing ulcer on her tongue which became exceedingly painful and was preventing her from eating. In March 2005, she had her first operation for the removal of the ulcer and a biopsy, which showed a presence of malignancy. In retrospect, when a Muslim is faced with the news of cancer, he begins to think of the options available to him. Seeking treatment and medical care is encouraged in the Sunnah (called: 'at-tadaawee - seeking treatment'). So over the next two years, we followed the full gamut of treatment of up to seven or eight surgeries together with radiotherapy in far away India, a return there for a review, then on to chemotherapy back in Trinidad.
Despite huge setbacks, we were to see the Hand of Allah in everything that challenged us. He tested us but walked us through to the very end. Allahumma laka wa minka; O Allah to you and from you. Laa malja'a minallahi illa ilayhi; There is no refuge from Allah, except in Him.
Our daughter, for those who know her, loved Qur'an and its fine recitation. And even before her loss of speech, she began to slowly lose the ability to pronounce key letters in the Arabic alphabet. She was taught recitation at the finest 'Tahfeedh' in Medina, where Salman, the son of Shaikh Thubaytee, was taught. One could imagine the pain she felt, and I remembered her last great effort to recite Qur'an after radiotherapy on her return from India; a moment in time that will not be repeated. Her speech slowly started to dwindle, and with great pain, I heard her say the words of the Prophet Sulayman, 'Rabbi Awzi'nee an Ashkura Ni'matakallati an'amta alayya wa 'alaa waalidayya wa an 'amala saalihan tardaahu wa adkhilnee bi rahmatika fee 'ibadikas saaliheen.'
During radiotherapy in India, in early 2006, she and her mother looked for appropriate gifts for her father to no avail. She thought that the best gift would be to memorize Surat Maryam. Every morning she would memorize a portion, and, while clamped on the cold stainless steel slab in the radiotherapy center in Trivandrum, India, she would revise what she had learnt that morning. While the rays from the linear accelerator machine were destroying the tissue in her neck and jaw, and, in the later stages, even with blood spewing from her mouth, she would be revising Qur'an.
We still remember one morning after she returned, she was anxious to recite what she had memorized, knowing how I loved that Surah. She sobbed bitterly in torment, not being able to pronounce certain letters properly. Her mother rushed downstairs thinking something was seriously wrong… 'nothing could be more agonizing to Nabiha than not being able to pronounce the words of Allah'.
For a few months we thought all was well, until Eid-ul-Fitr 2006. While I stood on the Mimbar, my daughter was at the hospital in Trinidad going through another painful procedure.
All throughout life, people are faced with situations in which they have options in dealing with them. We are sometimes faced with good news and sometimes with bad, but in Naibha's case, it was rare to hear good news. From then on it was constantly downhill. The family was being faced with one piece of bad news after another. The wound only became worse; the swellings increased, but our daughter Nabiha would continue to stand at night in prayer. It was not as though she became suddenly pious with the onset of illness. Rather, Nabiha continued to sail smoothly without missing a beat on a path that she had always tread. How Allah has blessed us with this privilege. Her sister remembers when we lived in Madinah in the nineties, how she would wake at nights, saying that she went to the washroom and thinking that was a long p….!
For days she would not speak because of the difficulty and pain. When she could not give Dawah with her speech, her fingers did the talking. Constantly admonishing people, worldwide and inviting them to Islam. Two Jewish Americans who became Muslims are living testimony to what she did. As parents we are only now beginning to realize the full extent of the people she advised, admonished, assisted, and supported. What is nice, however, is that the full extent of her work will never be known and is best left to Al 'Aleem. Sincerity is best measured when hidden from people's eyes. As our Prophet (saw) said when he performed Hajj: 'Allahumma laa ri'aa feehaa walaa sum'ah - O Allah, let there be no ostentation in it nor fame.'
Patience took on a special meaning for this young woman, seeing her life, her beauty, and her youth gradually taken away from her. There would be intense sadness and tears, but she bore her illness with dignity and with the full conviction that if this is what Allah wills, then so be it. Even close to the end I probably lost it when I said 'bint, where do you get all this strength' and lifting the frail hand into the air she pointed upwards, a move that words cannot do justice. One remembers laughing then at the relief and contentment for having a child of such Iman and 'Aqeedah.
The ulama say Patience is of three types:
1. Patience on the obedience of Allah
2. Patience in refraining from Allah's disobedience
3. Patience in enduring the painful trials form Allah.
Patience is easier in the third than in the first two. If a Muslim or a Kafir is faced with Cancer they both have to endure it but in the first two types we have choices either to obey Allah or disobey him. We hope and pray that in her moments of solitude and months quietness that our daughter was Dhaakiratullah katheeran - a woman who continued to remember Allah much.
Despite the great pain and trauma that we, the family, felt at times, we would say to Nabiha that we are a team and that we would never desert her, not even for a moment. In taking care of our ill child we did our very best, but we knew that one day the angels would take over and that that would be the day when our privilege and source of great blessings would come to an end. As we would shroud and perfume her lifeless body, so too we had the full assurance that the angels would be clothing and perfuming her Ruh.
Her body continued to emaciate and yet she showed extreme patience and courage. Her little body was battling the disease, but as Muslims we know that the body is just a shell… food for the worms of the grave. As a matter of fact, Allah showed us a glimpse of the breakdown of tissue and necrosis even before she left this world. (He showed us just what we could bear; her brother and I both acknowledge that we were about to reach the breaking point. How easy it is for Allah, Al Jabbaar, the One who Overwhelms.) It was a solemn reminder of the fate that each of our bodies will face. The eyes and whatever was little was left of her face remained shining like a beacon in the night, as though the cancer could not touch it. Again, we saw Allah's ease in the battlefield.
When Nabiha died, her feet glowed almost luminously, to a point that it startled us. Those feet that walked Makkah and Madina and stumbled between Safa and Marwa while fasting in Ramadan. Those eyes that cried incessantly when Abdullah Juhani and Salah Budair recited in Taraweeh in the Prophet's masjid. She would not miss her stars in recitation; not for the world.
Allah swt took this family and pushed it through wave upon wave of difficulty. Yet even with the difficulty was ease, smiles, comfort, and the security of knowing that even though He pushed us to the ends of world, He never left us on our own, but was constantly with us, protecting us and nurturing us. We discovered within ourselves, our capabilities for coping with crises we never imagined we could survive. It was easy to visualize a grotesque image of Nabiha once the cancer took over, but Allah has protected us and preserved our beautiful memories of our dear daughter.
When Nabiha died I, the father, was not present. He, Allah, placed me in the heart of the forest out of phone contact. Even when the family tried to call, I would not be accessible. Herein lies my test: Would I blame myself for not being present when she most needed me or will I totally accept the plan of Allah? Alhamduillallah, the one who was absent was able to console those who were present at her passing, and Allah knows whether I would be able to bear seeing her life leave her body.
People comment at our strength, but in truth we are exceedingly weak. He is our source of strength, and we fear to think how those who do not have Allah in their lives can manage? How do they live? How do they face the world and its trials?
Nabiha's life for us now is a bitter-sweet experience. We fear that after her passing, the chasm between us and our Lord will increase, and we will become more distant. Yet, we dare not say, 'O Allah bring on the next test,' for possibly the next test might just be the straw that breaks the camel's back. We only beg to stay close to Him and enjoy His sweet cuddliness; more than a mother can possibly show a child.
We would keeping telling her 'my baby just as we helped your helpless body in this life, maybe Allah would allow you to help us on Yawmul Qiyamah.' You could not eat nor drink nor speak nor shift your head in those last few months, but on that Day, if we were to receive our book of deeds in our left hand, we would have no power to shift it to the right. What utter helplessness!
Nabiha we love you dearly, but we love Allah more. Just as you loved us dearly, but you loved Allah more…… as you were trained. 'And do not say of those who are killed in the path of Allah that they are dead, nay they are sustained by their Lord. They rejoice in what Allah has bestowed upon them of His Bounty and rejoice for his sake for those who have not yet joined them, but are left behind that on them no fear shall come, nor shall they grieve. They rejoice in a Grace and a Bounty from Allah, and that Allah will not waste the reward of the believers.'
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